For years, copying other people, I tried to know myself.
From within, I couldn't decide what to do.
Unable to see, I heard my name being called.
Then I walked outside.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
- Rumi
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
wabi sabi talk
Long time ago, I did a Teacher's Training Program with GenieKids. We discussed many theories in education - learning modes, Multiple Intelligences etc. Also, Ratnesh, our trainer, wanted us to point out some 'Habits of Mind' to the children. One of these was 'Be clear and seek clarity'.
And while miscommunication is (rightly?) blamed for many problems we face, I do believe we can learn to appreciate imperfection in speech.
This was reinforced in me by Manueles, who is in India teaching children how solar cookers are made, among other things. (I really must thank Dinesh and by assoc., Sky, for introducing me to such a variety of people!)
Reinforced, because earlier, I had met Amal, a deaf and dumb artist at an art exhibition.
He wore worn out jeans and sandals with a long
A pinch of haughtinessarcasm diluted his child-like innocence, but if the Muses failed him, I felt he could easily be a con-artist. Drink in hand, he blended in smoothly.
It was delightful talking to him - mostly gestures and a little writing took us a long way. He told me he taught painting and had travelled the world as an artist and that most people didn't really understand art - but you and me, mone', we are different, weren't we?
When had I been more alert and happy when speaking with someone? Not since I was a babbling child, not understanding what people were saying to me.
And so when Manueles, who is learning English, theorised that by talking in his broken English, he is probably conveying more, I readily agreed. It's because the listener, M. said, makes up more possible meanings in her head when listening to him speak in English, than she would when listening to someone who could articulate better.
So true, inscalfen? How many times are we really intently listening to what someone says? And, how many times, in our non-professional lives, is it important that we 'be clear and seek clarity'?
And while miscommunication is (rightly?) blamed for many problems we face, I do believe we can learn to appreciate imperfection in speech.
This was reinforced in me by Manueles, who is in India teaching children how solar cookers are made, among other things. (I really must thank Dinesh and by assoc., Sky, for introducing me to such a variety of people!)
Reinforced, because earlier, I had met Amal, a deaf and dumb artist at an art exhibition.
He wore worn out jeans and sandals with a long
A pinch of haughtinessarcasm diluted his child-like innocence, but if the Muses failed him, I felt he could easily be a con-artist. Drink in hand, he blended in smoothly.
It was delightful talking to him - mostly gestures and a little writing took us a long way. He told me he taught painting and had travelled the world as an artist and that most people didn't really understand art - but you and me, mone', we are different, weren't we?
When had I been more alert and happy when speaking with someone? Not since I was a babbling child, not understanding what people were saying to me.
And so when Manueles, who is learning English, theorised that by talking in his broken English, he is probably conveying more, I readily agreed. It's because the listener, M. said, makes up more possible meanings in her head when listening to him speak in English, than she would when listening to someone who could articulate better.
So true, inscalfen? How many times are we really intently listening to what someone says? And, how many times, in our non-professional lives, is it important that we 'be clear and seek clarity'?
Sunday, August 17, 2008
what's this sabi-wabi
i noticed it first in Chennai. On my way to work with collegues in the minivan, we'd pass a plot of land that was being used for storing garbage. heck, if it was not being used, at least it was being refuse-d :)
anyways, as we passed said plot, most of my co-commuters would whip out small cloth pieces and immediately cover their nostrils with it, evidently to avoid the 'stench'. The 5*5 inches of cotton was as indispensable as when they needed a place to store their mucus they couldn't spit out in public.
I remembered that I used to hate the smell too, but just then I found myself not repulsed by it (recently read two uses of double negatives in two of my fav. authors' books - Chandler and Borges, so I had to...). My persuasions at getting co-comms to participate in any 'experiments' to detect areas in their brains which were stimulated by the smell didn't work.
Turning attention to the other source for experiments, I hypothesised thus: 'my mind is beginning to rot - so it didn't equate rotten = bad'. And then in support without experimentation, i quoted to myself," We rarely accept our demons. Don't we know that Denial is the door to Despair and Doom? ". Then a voice said, "You considered the possibility, dude - so you are better off than most". Wasn't I?
Soon, I found that I was attracted to what was considered as positively un-aesthetic. Even by me! Like in girls, for instance. The most 'ugly' looking girls, I was starting to like. What was going on here - Shallow Hal w/o Mr. Robbins? A friend said - "when one starts liking gadhis(female donkeys), one must marry". I let it pass.
Luckily, I came across this article about wabi-sabi. In short, it's the Japanese funda of finding beauty in transcience or imperfection. Ah-hah, so that's what's been happening to me (another lie for another day). Then I read 'Norwegian Wood' and parts of 'Remains of the Day'. Don't know why the former is considered great. It is good, no doubt. the latter was better but I couldn't finish it.
As this post, unfini.
anyways, as we passed said plot, most of my co-commuters would whip out small cloth pieces and immediately cover their nostrils with it, evidently to avoid the 'stench'. The 5*5 inches of cotton was as indispensable as when they needed a place to store their mucus they couldn't spit out in public.
I remembered that I used to hate the smell too, but just then I found myself not repulsed by it (recently read two uses of double negatives in two of my fav. authors' books - Chandler and Borges, so I had to...). My persuasions at getting co-comms to participate in any 'experiments' to detect areas in their brains which were stimulated by the smell didn't work.
Turning attention to the other source for experiments, I hypothesised thus: 'my mind is beginning to rot - so it didn't equate rotten = bad'. And then in support without experimentation, i quoted to myself," We rarely accept our demons. Don't we know that Denial is the door to Despair and Doom? ". Then a voice said, "You considered the possibility, dude - so you are better off than most". Wasn't I?
Soon, I found that I was attracted to what was considered as positively un-aesthetic. Even by me! Like in girls, for instance. The most 'ugly' looking girls, I was starting to like. What was going on here - Shallow Hal w/o Mr. Robbins? A friend said - "when one starts liking gadhis(female donkeys), one must marry". I let it pass.
Luckily, I came across this article about wabi-sabi. In short, it's the Japanese funda of finding beauty in transcience or imperfection. Ah-hah, so that's what's been happening to me (another lie for another day). Then I read 'Norwegian Wood' and parts of 'Remains of the Day'. Don't know why the former is considered great. It is good, no doubt. the latter was better but I couldn't finish it.
As this post, unfini.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
fun in sin?
I don't know about you - but as of now, I feel there is some fun in sin. or what we consider 'sin'. We can tell ourselves it is 'the society' that has these notions of sin - but if we agree to having 'sin' or 'wrong' in our minds at any level, we are in trouble.
Earlier, I spoke of how Sri Sri says to go beyond gold and good to find god. Today, I got a little more understanding of going beyond the 'good' part.
My conjecture is, and this might very well be an established theory - we like ourselves when we repent. Repentance has a 'good' or 'holy' connotation in our minds. The outward form may be prayer/service to society - anything. As soon as we say to ourselves "I have repented", we are almost doomed to sin again - so we can repent again.
The solution:
a> not to have any doeship
b> not to fall into duality
easier said than done. really.
Earlier, I spoke of how Sri Sri says to go beyond gold and good to find god. Today, I got a little more understanding of going beyond the 'good' part.
My conjecture is, and this might very well be an established theory - we like ourselves when we repent. Repentance has a 'good' or 'holy' connotation in our minds. The outward form may be prayer/service to society - anything. As soon as we say to ourselves "I have repented", we are almost doomed to sin again - so we can repent again.
The solution:
a> not to have any doeship
b> not to fall into duality
easier said than done. really.
Friday, June 27, 2008
compiled vs. dynamic
So this is how it is:
All our thought is in terms of what we know. And in metaphors.
And so my _question in life_ was: what should i do in life? I was hoping to get a nice, good answer. Something to shock me a little too. hey - i was different - wasn't i? :)
Two assumptions to note about the question:
1. it is linear - like the pc in a (micro)processor. it assumes that even if there are branches, there will be one taken.
2. it is pre-compiled. i am a program, written by a programmer - pre-compiled and being run. there is no 'free will' - instead there is a way i have to go - of course as i traverse through life, branches will be taken (based on the environment) and this will give rise to 'me' - a doer - a living actor versus a puppet.
With the emergence of dynamic languages, interpreted line by line, there seems to be more of 'free will'. Of course, unless it is a self-modifying program, there is really no change of the execution model at the processor level - but one can see that the characteristics are more visible at the program level - dynamic typing for one means that a variable doesn't have to be of one type in its lifetime... so my big question need not have only one answer :)
need to think more on this!
Monday, June 02, 2008
www.paulgraham.com
Love his site. White background, Navigation + Content on the left.
Love his writing. Go read.
Love his writing. Go read.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Another one bites the dust
Thursday, 31 Jan
First day of the SANGAM 2008 (The NGO Summit at AOL)- went with the idea of volunteering but i ended up attending more workshops than volunteering. I heard the famous Vandana Shiva talk. And she is good, no doubt. But she went on one extreme, criticizing almost everything without offering many solutions. But she did give this wonderful Native Indian quote:
(Stop and cry now, before proceeding)
The title alludes to a concept (a cherished one) that unfortunately has ended it's stay in my heart. I refer to the use of non-conventional energy sources. Dr. Girish, one of the speakers at the 'Sustainable Utilization of Energy' workshop in the Summit killed it. And I'm glad he did. Not for me the fascination of Reva or solar lighting in my building any more.
Why, you ask, when all the world is talking about stopping the use of fossil fuels and go solar, go wind? Simple, more fossil fuel goes to make the current solar and wind systems than the amount they are able to offset. It will take more than 20 years of consistent use of a solar panel for it to generate the amount of electricity that would have been generated by the amount of fossil fuel that went to make it. And most solar panels don't last those many years nor are they used all the time.
Not only solar/wind, the electric cars that we 'would buy if we have the money' are also not efficient. Electric batteries that drive mechanical devices are less than 25% efficient - which means they use up more fossil fuel than normal petrol cars. Yes, 'we' don't pollute - but the power station that make our electricity are still releasing the fumes!
Shocked? I certainly was. I was really planning to look for a solar battery charged UPS for a single computer (or make one).
The culprit is entropy. There are various definitions of entropy including the simple 'measure of randomness in a system' but the one I like is - 'The amount of energy unavailable for work.'
Solar and wind are high entropy energies - Not enough is available for conversion - at least with current technologies.
Meanwhile, we are better using fossil fuels. Or using bio energy (walking/cycling) - will talk more about it soon.
First day of the SANGAM 2008 (The NGO Summit at AOL)- went with the idea of volunteering but i ended up attending more workshops than volunteering. I heard the famous Vandana Shiva talk. And she is good, no doubt. But she went on one extreme, criticizing almost everything without offering many solutions. But she did give this wonderful Native Indian quote:
When all the trees have been cut down,
when all the animals have been hunted,
when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
when all the animals have been hunted,
when all the waters are polluted,
when all the air is unsafe to breathe,
only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
(Stop and cry now, before proceeding)
The title alludes to a concept (a cherished one) that unfortunately has ended it's stay in my heart. I refer to the use of non-conventional energy sources. Dr. Girish, one of the speakers at the 'Sustainable Utilization of Energy' workshop in the Summit killed it. And I'm glad he did. Not for me the fascination of Reva or solar lighting in my building any more.
Why, you ask, when all the world is talking about stopping the use of fossil fuels and go solar, go wind? Simple, more fossil fuel goes to make the current solar and wind systems than the amount they are able to offset. It will take more than 20 years of consistent use of a solar panel for it to generate the amount of electricity that would have been generated by the amount of fossil fuel that went to make it. And most solar panels don't last those many years nor are they used all the time.
Not only solar/wind, the electric cars that we 'would buy if we have the money' are also not efficient. Electric batteries that drive mechanical devices are less than 25% efficient - which means they use up more fossil fuel than normal petrol cars. Yes, 'we' don't pollute - but the power station that make our electricity are still releasing the fumes!
Shocked? I certainly was. I was really planning to look for a solar battery charged UPS for a single computer (or make one).
The culprit is entropy. There are various definitions of entropy including the simple 'measure of randomness in a system' but the one I like is - 'The amount of energy unavailable for work.'
Solar and wind are high entropy energies - Not enough is available for conversion - at least with current technologies.
Meanwhile, we are better using fossil fuels. Or using bio energy (walking/cycling) - will talk more about it soon.
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