D.D

Ambroce Bierce did us all a big service by putting into words what words stand in the hearts and minds of men and women like you and me. He also adorned it with some verse so we can nod assent and feel guilty doing it. It is now downloadable free of cost from Gutendberg.

Some gems (and I'm in 'A' yet):

ACTUALLY, adv. Perhaps; possibly. (! That's how I use it!)

ADVICE, n. The smallest current coin. (!awesome!)

"The man was in such deep distress,"
Said Tom, "that I could do no less
Than give him good advice." Said Jim:
"If less could have been done for him
I know you well enough, my son,
To know that's what you would have done."

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to
ourselves. (insightful and brutally honest!)

AIM, n. The task we set our wishes to.
"Cheer up! Have you no aim in life?"
She tenderly inquired.
"An aim? Well, no, I haven't, wife;
The fact is -- I have fired."
(for those about to marry, we salute them!)

AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.

ALLAH, n. The Mahometan Supreme Being, as distinguished from the
Christian, Jewish, and so forth.

Allah's good laws I faithfully have kept,
And ever for the sins of man have wept;
And sometimes kneeling in the temple I
Have reverently crossed my hands and slept.
-Junker Barlow